Koko Pimentel Removes Koko Krunch Off The Shelves; Pichay Blames Everybody Except His Mother
Disappointed that not even years of clever subliminal
advertising could win him a Senate seat, Koko Pimentel recently ordered
thousands of boxes of Koko Krunch breakfast cereals taken off supermarket
shelves. If not even the subtle resemblance of the breakfast cereal’s character to his own
face could endear him to the hearts of voters, Koko said during a press
conference, then screw this country.
"From now on, I will deny thousands of Filipinos who
actually can afford to eat breakfast the pleasure of eating Koko Krunch.”
When pressed about the future of Koko Krunch, Koko Pimentel
said they’re not completely killing the product. "We’re just considering
changing it into something more effective, like Koko’s Balls, because balls are so hot right
now.”
Meanwhile, Prospero Pichay is considering suing his
advertising agency for coming up with the stupid "Itanim sa Senado"
campaign. Pichay said that although "Pangarap ko, tuparin ang pangarap
mo" bullshit was brilliant, he thought his own creation, "Pichay, isaksak sa
baga ng Senado" would have given him a better chance of winning. Instead,
his not-thinking-out-of-the-box handlers insisted in adopting the ever-corny
"Itanim sa Senado" slogan. Hence, his tremendous loss.
"Anak ng puta, sinong gagong taga-syudad ang boboto sa
akin sa itanim, itanim na iyan. Sa mga magsasaka lang at marijuana planters
bumenta iyan e. Pati yung mga mascot na ginamit namin, hindi naman nakakatuwa yung mga yun e.
Kung si Doraemon ginamit namin, patok sana.
Tutal kamukha ko naman yun," Pichay fumed during a tete-a-tete with Amay
Bisaya at Cafe Lawton.
You may remember that Pichay’s "Pangarap ko, tuparin
ang pangarap mo" inspired tambays and common kriminals everywhere to come
up with their own versions, like the following:
Smelly kid: Pangarap ko, makakain ng hotcake. Kahit
one bite lang.
"Pagpag" hotcake street vendor: Pangarap ko,
tuparin ang pangarap mo!
Underpaid construction worker: Pangarap ko, makatagpo
ng mumurahing babaeng mayayari.
60-year-old Doroteo Jose prostitute: Pangarap ko, tuparin
ang pangarap mo!
Senior high school student: Pangarap ko, makabili ng isang
bloke ng jutes sa presyong abot ng allowance ko.
Marijuana dealer: Pangarap ko, tuparin ang pangarap mo!
Manileno: Pangarap ko, magdilim at maging grabeng boring at
corny ulit ang Maynila.
Alfredo Lim: Pangarap ko, tuparin ang pangarap mo!
Uncategorized |4 Responses to “Koko Pimentel Removes Koko Krunch Off The Shelves; Pichay Blames Everybody Except His Mother”
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Kuya JB: If you happen to know Koko P. or anybody who knows him, please relay him this message:
KiKi ng ina niya! Mas cute pa yung mascot ng Koko Krunch kesa sa kanya. At least yung mascot, may sariling identity eh siya? Tumakbo lang siyang senador dahil damatands na ang erpat niyang ulyanin! Just to Kontinue the Krazy old man’s politikal ambition!
Koko’s balls?! Kahit pa Koko’s Bisong or Koko’s Lagay or Koko’s Dick pa ang ilagay dun, kung la siya appeal sa taumbayan, la siya magagawa. Well, unless he releases his own cereal brand “with free porn video of Angel Locsin inside!!!” notice occupying a large space on the box baka–baka lang–may pumansin sa kanyang desperate politikal moves. Regarding P*#$chay, yap, he really should have chosen other slogans. Kung ikaw ang pinili na lang kasi na spin doctor niyan eh di sana may catchy slogan pa siya (probably something like “Pichay, ipukol or ipukpok kasama ng mga bulok na nakaluklok!”) kahit hindi siya manalo, at least, memorable ang slogan niya di ba?
I just want to take some money!
Press here
Hey, i save funny photos
here
Bite my shiny metal ass, assholes, you were joked!